Potty Training Update

Okay, so right after I wrote this post about Jacob being late in potty training according to society.....he potty trained in one day. grrrrr.

One Day.

It took 1 day of me setting the timer and making him go in there every 30 minutes.It took a lot of juice and patience and some underwear.  It also took some discipline when he refused to listen and follow directions.  And I went through a lot of skittles when he did go.

One stinkin' day.

*sigh*

So since then he has stayed dry every night except twice, and that was because I gave him juice right before bed. oops.
He is still not wanting to sit and go potty but he's got the standing thing down. 

And now, I'm kind of sad.  Sounds silly but to me this was the last milestone of being a baby....he's no longer a baby.  **tear**

Now for my second one, he love the toilet.....he loves splashing in it, tries to play with the toilet brush and toilet paper....he should potty train easy right?

Shhhhh! Don't tell the Potty Police.....

Sorry Danny, the peer pressure isn't working, we are not done with diapers.

but my 3 YEAR OLD ISN'T POTTY TRAINED YET!!!!

Jacob turned 3 in September and I awaited that birthday with fear.  Why?  Because he was not yet using the potty on a regular basis, he was still in diapers.

I felt ashamed.  

How awful of a mother was I if I couldn't even potty train him?  I mean they all say that that is the magical cut off point for potty training right?  I know some of them say 2 years and some even 1 year, but I had already passed those dates. What would they think?

His 3rd birthday arrived and I felt as if the Potty Police would show up at any moment.  I had concocted them in my head, can't you see them too?  Little black and white squad cars with toilets painted on the side.  They would show up and tsk- tsk me for not being more diligent, for not using the right methods, for not buying the right Car undies so Jacob would feel like going.

But the day of his birthday came and went.  There were no Potty Police at my door and they were strangely silent. 

It got me to thinking  how important potty training by a certain age is in respect to the whole of life.  Hmmm. 

Am I the only one who has noticed that the world does not come crashing down when your child doesn't crawl by this time or feed themselves by that time.  They keep living, things keep moving and eventually most children reach their milestones in their own good time. 

And before you think I am naive let me assure you that I do realize sometimes a child can be so sheltered and, quite frankly spoiled, that they don't reach milestones because they aren't allowed to.  But that is not what I am talking about here. 

I am talking about how we feel so pressured to do things by the book, because Dr. Phil said, because that doctor in that magazine says to get your child checked out immediately if they can't clap by 6 months or whatever it is.  Are we seriously training our children by their standards??

I would have loved Jacob to be potty trained as soon as he could walk, and I don't doubt that his trouble in this area was a combination of his development and my training. 

So he's still wearing diapers at 3 years old..........what of it?  He does go to the potty quite frequently and even manages by himself most of the time.  I see progress, but I also see forgetfulness, both on his part and mine. 

So to all who are afraid of the Potty Police or the Binky Brigade or whoever, remember how insignificant most of these things really are.  Concentrate on the important things like the health and well-being of your family.  Where is your child's heart?  Does he/she realize how amazing God is? THAT is an important question.  .
Read Generation Cedars amazing article here on that subject

PSSSSTTTT.....Have any potty training tips, tricks, hints......want to come do it for me??  I Heart Comments!

God Bless,

Discipline

In my last post I talked about how we don't discipline Jacob for "bouncing off the walls" because we thought we we were frustrating him.  After reading back over the post I was afraid that I made it sound as if we don't discipline him at all and oh, its just the opposite. However, we realize that leaving him idle creates problems.

Our beliefs on the subject:
1) We believe that children are born sinful.  Anyone who has watched a toddler for very long should realize this!
2)  We believe that God has entrusted us with raising our children to know His word and to worship him.
3)  We believe in not sparing the rod.  But we also understand that we must consider "their frame" in this.

Background information:  We listened to the world when deciding how to train and discipline Jacob, instead of trusting in God and his clear outline for it in the Bible.  We didn't adopt a biblical view of child training and discipline until Jacob was 2. That is toooo late!  It's more work to start when they first become defiant but we can already see the fruit of our efforts in our youngest.

So, I could go on about methods and what works but seeing as how we are behind in this I would rather point you to the resources that helped us get our feet firmly planted in biblical discipline, child training, and discipleship. 

1) The Bible
  
2)Great series on child training.   She has 4 youngins' and an outlook on child training taken directly from        God's word.  There are 8 parts so be sure to start at Part 1.

3)  On training babies.  http://inashoe.com - Search for Blanket Training

4) Taking babies AND children into church. For those who attend a family integrated, for those who don't read this about WHY family integrated is a good choice for the family.

5) Books
      Shepherding a Childs Heart by Ted Tripp
      Standing on the Promises by Douglas Wilson
      Christian Living in the Home by Jay E. Adams
     
6) This video/audio series is great.

I hope that these links help anyone who is struggling in this area.  Also, if y'all know of any good resources feel free to leave me a comment.  I will take all the help I can get!

God Bless,

Children and Chores

Doing the Laundry early in the morning, doesn't he look excited?  lol

It wasn't long before I realized I had to do something about Jacob.  More specifically his ability to turn into a wild-eyed heathen at the first sign of boredom.  And no I didn't medicate him, don't even get me started on that topic. 

I tried to entertain him, which was my first mistake.  I would pull out all the stops; toys, games and yes even TV, (SHHHH.....don't tell anyone!) all in the name of me being able to get some housework done and dinner on the table. 

Without, what I would call, formal child training, as in my mother teaching me or having the advantage of younger siblings or babysitting, I was at whits end.  Discipline didn't seem to be effective; Jason and I felt that we were only discouraging him. 

Then, one day ,in the middle of a bout of morning sickness, while cleaning the bathroom and trying to keep Jacob from literally bouncing off the walls I handed him the toilet brush, "Scrub!" I said.  He looked at me and smiled as if he held in his hand the most wonderful thing in the world.  He was 18 months when he found joy in scrubbing the toilet with the toilet brush. 

The merits of this were 3 fold:
1) It kept him "entertained" or busy.  Idle hands for Jacob lead to mischief LOTS of mischief.

2) It gave him a sense of satisfaction that you would not believe.  He bragged for days about cleaning that toilet!  He wanted to clean it everyday.

3) My toilet stayed clean : )  Seriously, it was a huge help to have him so willing and able to do this small task when I spent my time laying on the couch in morning sickness agony. 

His list of things he "could do" grew.  By the time he was 2 1/2 he was helping with more house and yard work than most teenagers I knew.

Doing dishes.  More like playing int he bubbles. : )

Currently at the age of 3 he successfully completes the following tasks:

Daily
-Meal time
  - sets dishes and silverware on table
  - helps clear table and wipes it down
  -occasionally helps wash dishes
-Laundry
     -brings the laundry basket (clothes are sorted into different baskets)
     -loads the washer and pours in the soap I've measured up for him
     -Starts the washer (i set the dial for him)
     - when the washer is through I toss the wet clothes onto the dryer door and he pushes them inside, adds
        a dryer sheet and hits the on button.
 - Living Areas
     - dusts everything with a feather duster
     - vacuums couch and carpet in bedrooms
-Picks up all of his toys and puts them up properly
-helps me make the beds
- throws things away
-picks up the yard
With his dad
-feeds the dogs and chickens and collects eggs (this is one we are currently working on)
- helps take out trash
-hands Daddy tools and puts them back etc

 (I believe there are more, I just can't think of them right now, its become like second nature)

Hmmmm.....it sounds like he does everything doesn't it?  Honestly he only does one major chore a day and then we work on everything else together. (I.E. I'm cleaning the bathroom mirrors while he wipes down the counters)  And trust me, I don't make him do it really.  He volunteers, begs and pleads.  He was made to work, to accomplish, to conquer, as are all boys I believe.

When I wanted him to hep me with something I start by showing him how I do it.  Then, I let him help with one small part of it.  For example, to start with the would only push the clothes into the dryer, the next time I let him do that and add the dryer sheet, the next time he pushed the button.  If he has difficulty I gently guide him, but I am lucky in the fact that he picks new skills up relatively easy like his Father.

If he didn't seem interested I would go ahead and start the task and he would come running over to help.  Very few times has he done this, he usually has to remind me to advance the laundry.  : )

I hope that I am teaching him responsibility and life skills he can use.  I hope that he is feeling accomplished in a job well done. I hope that I am teaching him that as a family we all work together to help each other and it is not all about "me, me, me!" as our culture would have us believe.

  I plan to continue with this practice for my second youngin' Michael.  I believe this will also help develop teamwork skills and camaraderie when brothers begin to work side by side.

This is a great link I found of a list of chores by age.  I can pretty much check off everything for the 3 year old category. 

So, in closing, don't feel discouraged when you feel like the toys need to be put away and your toddler, YES your TODDLER, should help you with something.  It may take you twice as long but the rewards are enormous.  Especially, if you have a ball of boy dynamite on your hands : )

After a hard morning, nothing like crackers, puzzles and a nap

WFMW: Adventures in Potty Training

Although I started potty training my son before he was 2 we are just now making progress at almost 3. I didn’t push the subject because he gets frustrated easily when he can’t do something and there were many changes in our lives that I figured would set him back such as the addition of his little brother and the move out into the country.

My husband thinks it’s the move that has helped him. I know it has helped me become more organized and have a concrete schedule so perhaps it has helped him as well.
The method I use includes:

1) Regular ol’ diapers – no pull ups etc because, well, their EXPENSIVE. When he can go in the potty without many accidents we will go to the Cars underwear.

2) Tic Tacs for rewards. They don’t have enough of anything in them to be considered candy and I don’t bribe him with them. I try to focus on potty training being a sign that he’s a “big boy” and the tic tacs are just an extra.

3) I set a timer- I am scatter brained and I will forget he needs to go potty so I don’t expect his little toddler brain to remember without a reminder.

4) Punishment only if he tries to hide that he had an accident. Hiding it, to us, is the same as lying. If he comes to me and tells me he had an accident I’m no pleased but there is no consequence, only a reminder to do better next time.

5) Cars potty seat- it can’t hurt right?

I also give him a sippy cup full of juice when we head to the bathroom, I think it helps. And then we clap and cheer when he goes.
We have made real progress is just the past few days!

So that’s what works for me, what about ya’ll? I would love to hear how those with boys do on their potty training!

Ours is sitting down for now, do ya’ll teach ya’lls to stand or sit?
What kind of rewards do you use?
What ages did you start/finish?
I would love any tips, suggestions or questions.

I HEART COMMENTS!

God Bless,

Melodie