Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Shhhhh! Don't tell the Potty Police.....

Sorry Danny, the peer pressure isn't working, we are not done with diapers.


Jacob turned 3 in September and I awaited that birthday with fear.  Why?  Because he was not yet using the potty on a regular basis, he was still in diapers.

I felt ashamed.  

How awful of a mother was I if I couldn't even potty train him?  I mean they all say that that is the magical cut off point for potty training right?  I know some of them say 2 years and some even 1 year, but I had already passed those dates. What would they think?

His 3rd birthday arrived and I felt as if the Potty Police would show up at any moment.  I had concocted them in my head, can't you see them too?  Little black and white squad cars with toilets painted on the side.  They would show up and tsk- tsk me for not being more diligent, for not using the right methods, for not buying the right Car undies so Jacob would feel like going.

But the day of his birthday came and went.  There were no Potty Police at my door and they were strangely silent. 

It got me to thinking  how important potty training by a certain age is in respect to the whole of life.  Hmmm. 

Am I the only one who has noticed that the world does not come crashing down when your child doesn't crawl by this time or feed themselves by that time.  They keep living, things keep moving and eventually most children reach their milestones in their own good time. 

And before you think I am naive let me assure you that I do realize sometimes a child can be so sheltered and, quite frankly spoiled, that they don't reach milestones because they aren't allowed to.  But that is not what I am talking about here. 

I am talking about how we feel so pressured to do things by the book, because Dr. Phil said, because that doctor in that magazine says to get your child checked out immediately if they can't clap by 6 months or whatever it is.  Are we seriously training our children by their standards??

I would have loved Jacob to be potty trained as soon as he could walk, and I don't doubt that his trouble in this area was a combination of his development and my training. 

So he's still wearing diapers at 3 years old..........what of it?  He does go to the potty quite frequently and even manages by himself most of the time.  I see progress, but I also see forgetfulness, both on his part and mine. 

So to all who are afraid of the Potty Police or the Binky Brigade or whoever, remember how insignificant most of these things really are.  Concentrate on the important things like the health and well-being of your family.  Where is your child's heart?  Does he/she realize how amazing God is? THAT is an important question.  .
Read Generation Cedars amazing article here on that subject

PSSSSTTTT.....Have any potty training tips, tricks, hints......want to come do it for me??  I Heart Comments!

God Bless,


  1. Ok - that is pretty funny that we mentioned Dr. Phil on the same day in our blogs! Great minds!

    Oh potty training...will I ever be done with potty training? So, my first two boys were somehow miraculously basically potty trained by 3. I'm scouring my memory as to how that happened and I'm coming up with very little.

    Now my 3rd son is about to turn 3 in a few days and guess what....He's NOT potty trained!!! That magic age number is going to come and go with my boy still in diapers. And, I'm OK with it. I mean, we're working on it, but AMEN to caring less about timelines and more about the hearts of our children.

    Great post Melodie!

  2. Thank you for this post! My son will be 3 in January and he's not potty trained yet. Everyone in my family is always asking me isn't he potty trained yet my kids were by the time they were 1 1/2. So again thank you for your post today. My husband and I tend to do things in our own timing and not so much everyone else's.

  3. Thanks Karen!

    Anonymous--I'm so glad you liked the post! I'm happy to know that there are like minded people out there. : )Thanks for commenting!

  4. Just thinking about the pressure makes me wince. Each of my four took longer to potty train. I think it must be because I became more easy-going as I went along. My youngest two were both 3 1/2 before they quit with the diapers.
    My youngest boy was highly resistant to sitting on the toilet. We were using disposables, ran out, and I told him we wouldn't be buying any more diapers unless he got a job and paid for them himself. (My husband's idea.) He decided to start using the potty that day. He never wet at night either. We were pretty amazed. He figured he lost the battle, I guess. He's a very interesting little guy...

  5. Carol- So the potty police were after you too? Shame on them! CUTE story about your youngest, he does sound like a very interesting little guy!