Thursday, November 11, 2010
Psalm 127 Part 1
What is that? How can you be "ready" for children?
We had been married a year and had our own house when I found out I was pregnant with Jacob, most of our family and friends were less than thrilled.
"Can y'all afford a baby? Their so expensive!"
"You've only been married a year!" "You need more time to get to know each other"
"You'll never finish college now"
"You've ruined your life"
Feathers became ruffled again when I did in fact quit my job and school to stay home. But we promised that we wouldn't let "the kid" get in the way of anything else.
I would like to say that when Jacob was born I fell immediately in love and overwhelmed with joy but while I was happy, I didn't find joy in my Son until he was almost 18 months. Because I chose to see him as the world did, a mistake, a hindrance, a burden. A tax write off, but nothing more.
When God started working in my heart I saw what I was doing, I was ashamed and I sought forgiveness; from God, from my husband and from Jacob.
My life is so full now. Full of joy and happiness, and although there are hard times, I remember that my children were gifts. Gifts that I should never take for granted. More tomorrow.