Psalm 127 Part 2

Michael and me when he was 2 weeks old

So after my heart was changed and I began seeing children as the blessing they are, we felt God calling us to have another child.  Jason came in from work one day and almost immediately brought up the subject, while I had been thinking about it all that week. 

I became pregnant with Mikey about a month later. 

Mikey was due on this day.....but didn't come until almost 2 weeks later.

While I was pregnant with him God continued to work in our lives and hearts.  We discovered may families, both personally and in blogland, that had many children and welcomed more. We learned from their example that there was more than just seeing children as a blessing.  We were being called to be "fruitful and multiply" to fill our "quivers".  

We had been willing to give our whole lives to God, every little detail.......except for this one.  We foolishly questioned him:

Do we have the money, the room, the experience?  Shouldn't we space them out?

It wasn't until a few months ago that we submitted to God's will and let him have power over this matter.  I can't say it was an easy decision, we are doubting sinners, often unwilling to trust in God's planning, in his divine wisdom. 

Children are a heritage from the LORD,
   offspring a reward from him.
⁴ Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
   are children born in one’s youth.
⁵ Blessed is the man
   whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
   when they contend with their opponents in court. Psalm 127:3-5

Now, I am often surprised at myself, how much I am looking forward to another pregnancy, even so soon, even with the memory of birth kind of fresh on my mind : )

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You probably noticed I did not use the term "quiverfull".  Currently (and this may change as we grow in the word) we believe this is a man made term for a biblical principle.  We don't need a catchy term for following God's will in any other circumstance and we don't believe this is an exception. Also, the theme of bearing children for the glory of God is echoed throughout the Bible again and again, we must look at it all as a whole, not just one well known verse. 

Let me also say that I don't judge.  Are you "quiverfull", awesome!  Are you not? Okay : )  I believe that I am a sinner and although I have been saved by the blood of Christ and we (my husband and I) have the responsibility to make decisions in light of scripture, we DO NOT have the foresight, divine knowledge etc to judge anyone's choice.  To do so, we believe, would be foolish.  So while I'll debate the issue with you on why we feel its a biblical matter,  We won't dare tell you your way is wrong.  (Except in the case of abortion, and then oh, believe me, I Will tell you). 

I write this here for ourselves, to look back and see where God led us, not to make anyone feel bad.  I hope that if anything its an encouragement : )

Psalm 127 Part 1

Jason and I had discussed having children before we were married and we decided that we wanted to have a few but only when we were "ready". What is that?  How can you be "ready" for children?  

We had been married a year and had our own house when I found out I was pregnant with Jacob, most of our family and friends were less than thrilled. 

"Can y'all afford a baby? Their so expensive!"

"You've only been married a year!"  "You need more time to get to know each other"

"You'll never finish college now"

"You've ruined your life"

Now, we weren't unmarried teenagers mind you.  We were married 21 year old adults with a house and good jobs.  They acted as if I had been diagnosed with cancer, there was no hallmark brand happy tears and excitement.  We had committed a serious mistake, according to them, by becoming pregnant before the age of 30. 

Feathers became ruffled again when I did in fact quit my job and school to stay home.  But we promised that we wouldn't let "the kid" get in the way of anything else. 

I would like to say that when Jacob was born I fell immediately in love and overwhelmed with joy but while I was happy, I didn't find joy in my Son until he was almost 18 months.  Because I chose to see him as the world did, a mistake, a hindrance, a burden.  A tax write off, but nothing more. 

When God started working in my heart I saw what I was doing, I was ashamed and I sought forgiveness; from God, from my husband and from Jacob. 

My life is so full now.  Full of joy and happiness, and although there are hard times, I remember that my children were gifts.  Gifts that I should never take for granted.  More tomorrow.

Camping Trip Recap and Park Review

Well.....it wasn't the worst camping trip. 

My husband and I have decided that we definitely need to go camping more than once a year.  We used to love to go camping and seem to keep putting it off.  Not only is it good for us but we believe it will create a lasting impression on our boys.  They will (hopefully) develop a love of nature and an understanding of why we should preserve God's wonderful creations.

So lets first go over our Camping Style:
We believe if you bring a TV, Satelite Dish or computer, you are NOT camping.  However, we are not so basic that we don't enjoy bathrooms within walking distance : ) We usually opt for walk-in tent sites, which are not on the road and do not have electricity.  We want great views and wildlife viewing opportunities.  Historical markers, buildings or museums are a huge plus.  We love to camping in the winter and fall because cold = no bugs or other campers : )

For this trip we decided on Davy Crockett National Forest.  We usually choose a state park but we wanted something different and neither of us had ever been through the Piney Woods of Texas. We also wanted a camp fire and National Forest's don't mind you collecting downed wood, the state parks?  It's usually a fine just to look at their sticks wrong.

So first, I'll give a review of the park:

Pros: 
1) The trees were nice
2) Not crowded
3) ummmmm......

Cons
1) Park service failed to mention that the concession stand was closed that rents the canoes etc

2) Out of envelopes to drop payment, also leaves you with no proof you payed

3) We saw more wildlife in the local gas station bathroom than in the actual park

4) BUSY highway within a stones throw, LOUD trucks going by all night long.....

5) the early 1900's saw mill ruins are surrounded with bathrooms, roads, a playground and a highway.  It kind of loses the feel that way. 

The cons were accompanied by our lack of practice in camping to make a worse experience.  We only brought one lantern. ONE.  What were we thinking?  And though you are allowed to gather firewood in the park its best to do that in daylight.  Its very difficult to find adequate firewood with a flashlight. (Mental Note: Arrive at park sooner.)
Also, tip for the park: Don't provide restrooms if you are not going to clean them.

We also had child training issues to work through which as most of you know, is exhausting. More on that later.

Overall, we were let down by the experience so much we opted to drive another hour farther east to take a look at the Angelina National Forest.  At the forest's center is the Sam Rayburn Reservoir, which is HUGE. They offer a variety of campsites from plush campsites with boat ramps to backwoods primitive (which is what we like).   The areas we were interested in were the Boykin Springs and the Bouton Lake camping areas.

WOW.  We decided we are going here next for sure. 

- Remote camp sites CHECK. 15 mile drive down a gravel road through wilderness.
- Restrooms close by CHECK.
- Wildlife CHECK
- Beautiful views CHECK.
- Historical sites. CHECK CHECK.  Early 1900's sawmill, mostly still intact (though its' covered in graffiti)

And its only 3 hours from our home.  A close by town, Lufkin even has a little zoo.

So now we're looking at going about every other month on a little weekend excursion.  Angelina is our first destination but then there are so many State Parks to branch out into, like Fort Boggy, a promising looking one.

So overall I give Davy Crockett National Forrest: * * two stars.  But we're optimistic. : )

Tough Topics: Submission Part 3

I've been putting this post off, unsure of how I should finish it.  But any conclusion is better than not having one right?  I encourage you to read Created to be His Helpmeet and The Excellent Wife and Passionate Housewives Desperate for God.  The authors not only have more experience but can say it a lot better than I ever can.  

So, how was I going to put this thing called "submission" into effect?  That was the tough question I had to ponder.

First things first, I let my husband be the leader of our family.

Sounds simple enough, but how many of us really do it?  I was willing to let my husband "lead" if he was leading the way I thought he should.  I was quick to criticize and judge.
I won't lie, this first step, the step of letting go was.......hard. 

Everything in my sinful nature screamed, "No! Don't do it! He doesn't know what he's doing! He will take advantage of the situation! You'll be a doormat!"

Doormat.  How I hate that term.  And I hate it because I've heard it so often.

As in, "She doesn't stand up to her husband. She's just a doormat."

Please don't confuse following your husband's lead with pretending your husband is God.  That is not what submission is about.  God is God. He is over you and your husband.  You must follow God first and then the husband he has given you to follow.  In matters that are apparently against God, who do you follow?  God, people, you follow God!

Okay, I got off on a little bit of a tangent.  Ahem. Sorry, back to your regularly scheduled post............


I believe the problem many of us have with trusting our husbands to lead our family does not lie with our husbands but our seeming inability to trust God.  Letting God be Lord over every aspect of your life is something that is not only best for you but required by the Word.

It all boils down to: Do you trust God?  The answer can not be "Yes, but......" or "Yes except for...."  Not to say that at times it won't be a struggle, I fail at putting all my trust in God quite frequently, but He's always there to remind me that He is Lord.

Do you allow God to be the Lord of your life?  That is what submission is all about.


Sorry I rushed through this post, I had imagined something far more detailed.  Perhaps I'll revisit the subject with more tips on how to actually show honor to our husbands.  Right now my mind is full of other topics:  child discipline, elder care, sacrificing for others, and the most wonderful.....baptism.  How gracious is the Lord that He called my husband and I to follow him mostly at the same time.  how wonderful that we are to be baptized, a physical sign of the washing of our sins by the grace of Jesus Christ.  "Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, the od who is our salvation" Psalms 68:19

Tough Topics: Submission Part 2

Often used as a symbol of feminism, poor Rosie.

To recap:  I was going over the evils of feminism and how it has affected me as it has many of other women.  This is more about my story and some example about how we are choosing to live apart from God's word.

Now, I don't think I ever chose feminism.  Until the last year or so I never saw it's subtleties all around us.  TV and radio are givens, but what about your church? What about that seemingly harmless "Christian" film you just watched? 

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12: 2

When searching for a church the hardest hurdle we faced as a family was finding a church that stood apart.  They all bragged on their extravagant buildings and many programs.  None bragged on their close knit fellowship and how they believed in the infallible word of God.  None bragged on how they follow the mandates in 1 Timothy on how to find a suitable pastor/elders.  What we tended to find in many churches was that they used the bible as sort of a loose guideline.

It was subject to their interpretation and that is dangerous folks. 

Afterall, after being barraged with the "values" of the world day in and day out, we believe ourselves to be righteous enough to use the scripture how we see fit?

 One of the main examples I would like to point to with this is 1 Timothy: (strangely enough this was part of our pastors message this past Sunday and this post was thought up before then)

Chapter 2 Verse 11-
 A woman should learn in quietness and full submission.
I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 
For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived and became a sinner. 


I'm not really sure how much more plain this could be.  So how is it that women feel they can become preachers, pastors, bishops and ministers?  How do we approve of this? 


Society tells us to bar women from occupations, even that of pastor, is "wrong".   Who should we be listening to?  The Word of God of our culture?  It's as simple as that to me.

This is just one of the many examples of how we can bring what we have learned outside the church into it. 

I like this passage because Paul also gives us the reason we should not teach in the church.
For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived and became a sinner. a

I don't know about anyone else but I know in my heart that this one is true.  I know that women, including myself, tend to be sinful, manipulative and deceiving.  I used to play the feminist part very well--treating my husband as incompetent and manipulating him with my emotions when I could not have my way. 

I saw it happen every day in the house I grew up, in the school where I worked.  Professing Christian women laying out their game plan on how they were going to deceive their husband into doing something they wanted that weekend.  We would all laugh and wait for Monday when we got to hear how it turned out.  The woman would return a conquering hero after she used tears or even full blown tantrums to get what she wanted.  And then why was it a shock when that woman came crying to us not a year later about her husband filing for divorce? 


Every day I thank God that he showed me the error of my ways before I tore down my house with my own hands. 

I pushed my husband to move, I begged him to let me spend a little more money to make our business a real success.  I cried when he wouldn't let me do something, I gave him the silent treatment when he stood firm.  A man can only take so much, and our husbands want to see us happy above all else.  So against his better judgment he let me have my way.  We went into debt, moved the business..........and failed miserably. 

There is no doubt in my mind that God let everything take place so that I could learn my lesson. Sometimes he has to tear us down to build us up.  He used this opportunity to open my heart to His Word.  Now that I was away from all of the feminist influences telling me to control my husband, to make decisions, I was free to see where God wanted me.  Tucked safely under Jason's arm. 

My husband is incredibly intelligent and has a great head on his shoulders.  He is slow to make decisions but only because he thinks through everything carefully.  He got us out of the pickle we were in, he paid our debt, he forgave me in the blink of an eye and has never held it against me. 

God was working a change in me and Jason could see it, I wasn't the same.  It was as if a blindfold had been removed.  It was painfully apparent that I had been lied to by everyone.  My family, friends, the media, the few churches I had attended.... they were all telling me the same thing.  Not only was I supposedly in charge of my husband, I was in charge of my own life, not God, not the creator.  Just me.   I was the King of the Hill (or queen rather) and let me tell you, that is a lonely place to be.

Satan's plan was obviously working.  Not only in the world, but in each and every woman.  The enemy gave us what we wanted, power and vanity.  We were ignoring our Father and taking a big ol' bite of the apple. Now, we must face the consequences of our decisions.

So, I could see submission was what God wanted, but I still had questions.  How do I go about this?  Does this mean I have to be a doormat with out an opinion?  What about the husbands out there that aren't good to their wives? 

I'll cover what I discovered in the next post:Part 3.

*Along with the Bible, during this time I read many books and blogs that helped.  Feel free to check out my sidebar and blog roll for a listing.* 

Tough Topics: Submission Part 1

Okay, lets just put it out there, shall we?  If you want to ruffle some feathers at your next dinner party just throw out this statement "Wives submit to your husband's as to the Lord". Eph 5:22 And then duck and run......you will no longer be popular; not just in the local school or at the office, but the church.  This will be a series of posts about my background in feminism, the why of submission and ,the hardest part, the how.  All my opinions, backed up with what I have read in scripture.  Don't take my word for it, BYOB (Bring Your Own Bible).

"Hmmm.....submission....that's a toughie!"

My grandmother will be 100 years old next month and she is the most loyal feminist "Christian" I know.  Feminism didn't start at some bra burning, it started long before in a beautiful garden....(Gen 3:4)
Since then the feminist movement raged through history and the word "submit" in relation of a wife to her husband has joined ranks with many other 4 letter words in our culture.  The terminology is not cool, politically correct or even accepted as decent. 

Why, to reaffirm God's word through Paul by quoting Ephesians 5:22**** will get you everything but a pat on the back.  Funny looks, hateful words and such are the least of your problems.  Think how many pastors have lost their jobs for simply standing by God on the subject!  How sad is it that our culture is dictating what our pastors teach in place of our God.   No wonder so many people today (I used to be one of them) think Christianity is phony baloney.  When the church resembles the world what's the big deal of getting up early on Sunday morning to watch what you've been looking at all week?

I want to let my stance be known about the topic, because saying you're a follower of Jesus Christ does not mean that you believe in a wife submitting (even though it should).  While I may not be as well spoken as most of the anti-feminist bloggers out there (Stacy McDonald, and the many contributors of Ladies Against Feminism, just to name a couple)  I will take a stab at it, so let me start with a story....

Once upon a time..I was a feminist.  I feel like I am at one of those AA meetings.

"Hello, My name is Melodie Holder and I am (was) a feminist."

I was brought up believing that the key to a woman's happiness was choosing her own path in life.  Marriage and children were like a ball and chain dragging you down....slowing your ascent of the corporate ladder. Feminism has two basic principles 1) Women are god's 2) Men are scum.   

I was not just a passive feminist, oh-no.  I bought the whole bit, hook-line-and sinker.  I was pro-choice (read pro-murder), I believed men were dumb and should be manipulated.  I believed abstinence was a silly and overrated concept.  I believed I was in control of my life because I was a woman.......because some men in suits said I had the right to vote, the right to choose, the right to be free of men.....

Anyone who has walked down this road knows that its is not freedom, this lifestyle-these beliefs are a prison.  You are angry at the world because you have been taught that it is against you, that men are out to get you and force you into marriage with the cooking and cleaning and baby raising.  The churches (most) echo the culture to pull in more members, more $$$.  It's sad but undeniable.

The true, awe-inspiring power of God is that His Word, His Truth cut through all of the politically correct, satan inspired mumbo-jumbo.  Through everything wrong that I believed, everything evil that I held dear--His light found me.  And I became new again.


Part 2 coming soon

**** Lest you think I am taking this "out of context" please consider the following:
Ephesians 5:22
Corinthians 11:3
Titus 2:5
Genesis 3:16
Feel free to read the entire chapter around those verses, it supports the verse.  The verses are not taken our of context. Can you list any more?

Hello?! Is anyone still there?  Come on....I didn't scare you off yet did I? : )