Saturday, September 11, 2010

Tough Topics: Submission Part 1

Okay, lets just put it out there, shall we?  If you want to ruffle some feathers at your next dinner party just throw out this statement "Wives submit to your husband's as to the Lord". Eph 5:22 And then duck and will no longer be popular; not just in the local school or at the office, but the church.  This will be a series of posts about my background in feminism, the why of submission and ,the hardest part, the how.  All my opinions, backed up with what I have read in scripture.  Don't take my word for it, BYOB (Bring Your Own Bible).
"Hmmm.....submission....that's a toughie!"
My grandmother will be 100 years old next month and she is the most loyal feminist "Christian" I know.  Feminism didn't start at some bra burning, it started long before in a beautiful garden....(Gen 3:4)
Since then the feminist movement raged through history and the word "submit" in relation of a wife to her husband has joined ranks with many other 4 letter words in our culture.  The terminology is not cool, politically correct or even accepted as decent. 

Why, to reaffirm God's word through Paul by quoting Ephesians 5:22**** will get you everything but a pat on the back.  Funny looks, hateful words and such are the least of your problems.  Think how many pastors have lost their jobs for simply standing by God on the subject!  How sad is it that our culture is dictating what our pastors teach in place of our God.   No wonder so many people today (I used to be one of them) think Christianity is phony baloney.  When the church resembles the world what's the big deal of getting up early on Sunday morning to watch what you've been looking at all week?

I want to let my stance be known about the topic, because saying you're a follower of Jesus Christ does not mean that you believe in a wife submitting (even though it should).  While I may not be as well spoken as most of the anti-feminist bloggers out there (Stacy McDonald, and the many contributors of Ladies Against Feminism, just to name a couple)  I will take a stab at it, so let me start with a story....

Once upon a time..I was a feminist.  I feel like I am at one of those AA meetings.

"Hello, My name is Melodie Holder and I am (was) a feminist."

I was brought up believing that the key to a woman's happiness was choosing her own path in life.  Marriage and children were like a ball and chain dragging you down....slowing your ascent of the corporate ladder. Feminism has two basic principles 1) Women are god's 2) Men are scum.   

I was not just a passive feminist, oh-no.  I bought the whole bit, hook-line-and sinker.  I was pro-choice (read pro-murder), I believed men were dumb and should be manipulated.  I believed abstinence was a silly and overrated concept.  I believed I was in control of my life because I was a woman.......because some men in suits said I had the right to vote, the right to choose, the right to be free of men.....

Anyone who has walked down this road knows that its is not freedom, this lifestyle-these beliefs are a prison.  You are angry at the world because you have been taught that it is against you, that men are out to get you and force you into marriage with the cooking and cleaning and baby raising.  The churches (most) echo the culture to pull in more members, more $$$.  It's sad but undeniable.

The true, awe-inspiring power of God is that His Word, His Truth cut through all of the politically correct, satan inspired mumbo-jumbo.  Through everything wrong that I believed, everything evil that I held dear--His light found me.  And I became new again.

Part 2 coming soon

**** Lest you think I am taking this "out of context" please consider the following:
Ephesians 5:22
Corinthians 11:3
Titus 2:5
Genesis 3:16
Feel free to read the entire chapter around those verses, it supports the verse.  The verses are not taken our of context. Can you list any more?

Hello?! Is anyone still there?  Come on....I didn't scare you off yet did I? : )


  1. Go for it! I'm eager to hear more. No dirty looks from me.

  2. Hey Melodie, I am very interested to read this series and to hear what God has impressed upon your heart through his Word and through your own experiences.

    For me, I always had a very strong desire to be a wife and a mother. I was always very 'traditional' in my desire to be a stay at home mom and never had a lot of drive for a career (although I married I spent all my 20's working in my chosen field of education).

    Where I have struggled and continue to struggle is that I was raised in a home where my mother was/is very dominant. She pretty much makes all the decisions and has big control issues. My dad was/is very passive and doesn't assert his role as head of the household.

    Now in my own marriage I am seeking that biblical balance. I firmly believe that my husband should be the leader in our home. But, I also know that being a biblically submissive wife doesn't mean that I have no say either. So, I'm always finding myself teetering back and forth between wanting control (like my mom) and not saying enough at times (being too passive like my dad).

    Anyway, sorry for that long comment. You have definitely chosen an interesting topic!

  3. Jennifer- Thanks!

    Karen- First, I love your long comments!

    And you know, my parents are the exact same way! And you are not alone in balance being one of the hard points of submission.

    I, like you, still struggle between being dominant and being silent. One book (controversial as it may be) that I found to help me a lot was "Created To Be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl.

    I think this is such a hard topic too because we are surrounded by a culture that presses upon us, as it has pressed upon those before us, to be dominant. When you have no real life examples (Titus 2 women) its very hard to put the biblical principles we believe in into practice.

    Looking forward to discussing this topic with everyone more!

  4. Melodie, I have enjoyed reading a variety of your posts. I will admit, I never bought into the whole thing, Feminism, Submission to extreme, I have always been a free thinker.

    I knew my place was to be a wife and mother from the very beginning. I have not a drop of regret to that decision.

    I will pray that you find the path God has for you. That is what I ask for of my own children everyday.

    Dear Lord, I pray that they be guided on the path for the purpose you created them for. Amen.


    I have 3 blogs

  5. In agreement here, not scared at all! :)