Tough Topics: Submission Part 1

Okay, lets just put it out there, shall we?  If you want to ruffle some feathers at your next dinner party just throw out this statement "Wives submit to your husband's as to the Lord". Eph 5:22 And then duck and run......you will no longer be popular; not just in the local school or at the office, but the church.  This will be a series of posts about my background in feminism, the why of submission and ,the hardest part, the how.  All my opinions, backed up with what I have read in scripture.  Don't take my word for it, BYOB (Bring Your Own Bible).

"Hmmm.....submission....that's a toughie!"

My grandmother will be 100 years old next month and she is the most loyal feminist "Christian" I know.  Feminism didn't start at some bra burning, it started long before in a beautiful garden....(Gen 3:4)
Since then the feminist movement raged through history and the word "submit" in relation of a wife to her husband has joined ranks with many other 4 letter words in our culture.  The terminology is not cool, politically correct or even accepted as decent. 

Why, to reaffirm God's word through Paul by quoting Ephesians 5:22**** will get you everything but a pat on the back.  Funny looks, hateful words and such are the least of your problems.  Think how many pastors have lost their jobs for simply standing by God on the subject!  How sad is it that our culture is dictating what our pastors teach in place of our God.   No wonder so many people today (I used to be one of them) think Christianity is phony baloney.  When the church resembles the world what's the big deal of getting up early on Sunday morning to watch what you've been looking at all week?

I want to let my stance be known about the topic, because saying you're a follower of Jesus Christ does not mean that you believe in a wife submitting (even though it should).  While I may not be as well spoken as most of the anti-feminist bloggers out there (Stacy McDonald, and the many contributors of Ladies Against Feminism, just to name a couple)  I will take a stab at it, so let me start with a story....

Once upon a time..I was a feminist.  I feel like I am at one of those AA meetings.

"Hello, My name is Melodie Holder and I am (was) a feminist."

I was brought up believing that the key to a woman's happiness was choosing her own path in life.  Marriage and children were like a ball and chain dragging you down....slowing your ascent of the corporate ladder. Feminism has two basic principles 1) Women are god's 2) Men are scum.   

I was not just a passive feminist, oh-no.  I bought the whole bit, hook-line-and sinker.  I was pro-choice (read pro-murder), I believed men were dumb and should be manipulated.  I believed abstinence was a silly and overrated concept.  I believed I was in control of my life because I was a woman.......because some men in suits said I had the right to vote, the right to choose, the right to be free of men.....

Anyone who has walked down this road knows that its is not freedom, this lifestyle-these beliefs are a prison.  You are angry at the world because you have been taught that it is against you, that men are out to get you and force you into marriage with the cooking and cleaning and baby raising.  The churches (most) echo the culture to pull in more members, more $$$.  It's sad but undeniable.

The true, awe-inspiring power of God is that His Word, His Truth cut through all of the politically correct, satan inspired mumbo-jumbo.  Through everything wrong that I believed, everything evil that I held dear--His light found me.  And I became new again.


Part 2 coming soon

**** Lest you think I am taking this "out of context" please consider the following:
Ephesians 5:22
Corinthians 11:3
Titus 2:5
Genesis 3:16
Feel free to read the entire chapter around those verses, it supports the verse.  The verses are not taken our of context. Can you list any more?

Hello?! Is anyone still there?  Come on....I didn't scare you off yet did I? : )

I'm done fiddling.....promise.

I am, really.

I won't mess with my blog anymore.....until after Thanksgiving.  : )

I just needed a change. Fall is in the air!

Can't you smell it?  

"Over the River and Through the Woods.......

….To Grandma’s house we go!”  Except to get to the grandmas house we have to drive 5 hours, across Texas without an a/c in our van, to a place filled with sand, sparse vegetation and high winds….yuck.

Calling his "GiGi" to let her know we are on our way

This post was written before our trip but I didn't get to post it : ) so now that we're back....here it is.   

We will be leaving Friday at around 5:30am, the weather will be nice and cool then.  So this week is preparation for our trip.  Yes, it takes me that long to get everything organized.  We usually follow a set pattern when we are ready to go on an overnight trip and it usually follows these guidelines:

5 days in advance

We get the house ready by doing any monthly maintenance we need to do.  Nothing worse than coming back home late one night and having to fix something we should have already done.  In the summer this is simple, changing the a/c filter etc.  In winter if we miss wrapping pipes etc, we could have a problem on our hands when we get back.

This includes getting things set up for our animals.  We feed the reptiles weekly so we bulk them up good at this time and then feed them when we get back.  (we’re never gone more than 4-5 days) We set up auto-water systems for chickens and dogs as well, we don’t want them running out of water in the middle of the day.

 Then, we meet with the pet sitter.  At this house we have  kindly neighbors.  Where we used to live it was hard to get pet sitting companies to even drive in the neighborhood simply because of the color of the skin of most of the residents (rolling my eyes).  People can be so stupid. 

If they looked past the neighborhood demographics they wouldn’t step foot in our house.  “Don’t worry the 10 foot python is in a locked habitat”  “Y’all said you would care for “any animal”.  *sigh*

3-4 days in advance

I clean the house.  Now that I have implemented my new schedule the house stays pretty clean but I make sure all of the cleaning and laundry is caught up.  I also use this time to print out our packing check list, trip itenerary, any maps we need etc.  I put everything into a folder for easy access.  I also start using my freezer meals at this time.  Less cleanup at meal time and little brain power to put a meal together. : )

2 days in advance

I run any last minute errands.  I go to the bank, pick up last minute things to take on the trip.  Since we are a one car household, I clean out the van on this day since I have it all day after taking my husband to work.  I also try to go ahead and put things in the van that I know we’ll need like our ice chest etc.  I also refill our “emergency kit” for the kids.  This has a change of clothes, diapers, wipes, and an (empty) extra bottle and sippy cup.  My husband checks all of the fluids, tire pressures and makes sure the jumper cables and tools are still in there.  He also checks our “van kit” which has things like jumper cables, flashlight, fluids etc. 

Father and son checking the van...How cute!

The day before

I spend all day packing.  With only 2 children taking me all day I can only imagine if we have more! : )

And really it doesn’t have to take all day but I try to take my time and go through checklists ( I LOVE checklists) to make sure we don’t forget anything.  After packing everything we go ahead and load the van the night before our trip which saves hassle the next morning.  I set the coffee pot up and make breakfast-to-go like muffins or burritos.  We keep our toiletry bag in the bathroom so that in the morning, when we’re done brushing our teeth etc, we just toss everything in there and take it to the van. 

The boys share a suitcase on wheels for their clothing and then I have their drinks/snacks in a small cooler.  Jacob gets to pack 1 small backpack with books and toys. That's what we used to do.  This trip I implemented yet another "kit" in the way of a box between the boys seats that holds a permanent collection of colors, paper, books and other assorted toys.    Both grandmas keep a supply of toys on hand and if we’re going camping etc Jacob busy’s himself with his environment. 

My husband usually gets gas after work so we don’t have to start in the morning.

That leaves departure day stress free.  We get dressed, throw last minute toiletries into our bag and head out to the van. 

While traveling Jacob entertains himself with things in his back pack box or he takes a nap.  Lately he’s started talking to us and we have conversations about where we are going and what’s going by outside our windows.  Spotting different color cars is a favorite little boy past time.

Mikey sleeps mostly.  We stop as little as possible.  It seems harder to get them back in the van if we get them out.  And leaving so early they sleep a lot and we arrive before lunch. 

What do y’all do special to get ready for a trip?  How do you pack for or entertain he kids?

Believe me, it took us A LOT  of trips to get it down this smooth.

See y’all when we get back!

We had a lovely trip.  It couldn't have gone smoother.  We were sick the week before but were all well for the trip, the van held out, the pet sitter did a fabulous job, Jacob had a wonderful birthday and there were no knock-down drag-out fights between family members......who could ask for more! Praise God for his many blessings!

My baby boy turns 3 September 18th.  My, how time has flown.....

 

Homemaker Does Not Equal Slave

 ."Holy Clean Laundry Batman! That's A Lot of Work!"**

We will be heading home the first weekend of September to visit family and stop off at the school I attended/worked at to see friends and I am nervous...
See, since we moved thing have changed in our lives....I have become a completely different person.

It's very hard to find anything in common with the people I once called friends and now we can see ourselves set apart from our families. It saddens me but at the same time I realize this is what God wants "to leave and cleave" its referred to. And boy did it make a difference in us!

I guess in preparation for the onslaught of probing questions and feminist/cultural ideology I like to kind of dwell on what makes us....us. I found some excellent articles and videos this morning that remind me WHY we do the things we do as a family, WHY we set ourselves apart.

I don't know anything about Dr. Steve Haltzman other than he is an author, but I do like this quote I heard on a clip of the Rachael Ray show. The topic was "1950's housewives" and showcases Courtney who blogs at Women Living Well. (check out her site, its wonderful!)

"..you don't feel like you're slave to a man, you feel like you are the master of your household" Dr. Steve Haltzman.

I really liked his wording and the point he was trying to make. Homemakers like Courtney or I for that matter are NOT SLAVES to our husbands. No where in the Word does God say that we are to be either. We are to be "helpers". It just burns my biscuit when feminists get all frazzled over this Biblical lifestyle and say that we are being "demeaned", "used" that we are "slaves" and "doormats".

Submitting to a husband does not mean that you can't disagree or have an opinion, its all about respect. I KNOW for a fact that I am emotional and fickle, while my husband is level headed and confident. I KNOW that my husband makes wiser decisions that I do, I know that I can be easily misled. "Who says?!" you ask? GOD SAYS, PEOPLE, GOD SAYS. You cannot go over or around the MANY references in scripture pertaining to this God given instruction. SUBMIT.

I feel fulfilled in a homemaker because its my JOB. Just as my husband heads off to work at 6:30 every morning to face long hours filled with toil, I too have a job to do that day. I may not have to punch in and I don't put up with office politics (praise God) but I have a very important job that my husband leaves me to do. I care for our children (read legacy), I run our house and I help build a home and haven so that when he gets done with that job he WANTS to come home.

He does not put me down, order me around or take advantage of me. I feel fulfilled and happy doing the work God has set before me to do.

Wow, I did not realize how worked up over this topic I was...back to our visit.

It's so hard in our society to be a homemaker and not be put down. Especially if you are young and newly married. I feel like homemakers have to be on a constant defensive as to why we chose this as a family and that my husband didn't force me into it. So I will try to be confident during this fun time with family and friends. Most importantly I will lean on my husband and God for support.

How do you tell people when they ask about your decision to stay home? To home school? To not vaccinate? To have home birth?

I feel a series of posts coming on.........


** I usually post photo credits but can't find for the life of me where I got this image, I just know I've had it for a long time.

Pondering Family Worship

This painting hangs over our dining table

 My husband and I have been discussing daily worship and how it should look for our family. So, to tell you what we currently do:

• We each read the Bible in the morning separately. He reads his at work during morning break and I read mine before the kids wake up. During this time we read the Proverb of the day (August 1st we read the 1st proverb etc) and then I think it varies daily from that. I also read various books about Biblical womanhood during the week, examples of these are in my sidebar.

• We pray at the dinner table. We may pray separately throughout the day but its sporadic to say the least.

• At night we re-read the days proverb together and a psalm. We read a Bible story out of “The Jesus Storybook Bible” by Sally Lloyd-Jones. (I LOVE THIS BOOK!) We’ve also been reading a Christian themed golden book or something similar to the children.

• After the kids are in bed. Jason and I read aloud to one another from a book we are working on. Right now it’s the 1689 London Baptist confessional and “What is Reformed Theology” by R.C. Sproul. We also read through the Bible, a chapter or so a night. Right now we are in Esther.

Okay, so areas for improvement. WE NEED TO PRAY MORE! I do believe we are praying, quietly to ourselves throughout the day as it says in 1 Thessolonians to “Pray without ceasing.”But we need to be praying together and often.

THIS is where we need the most work.

As new believers, praying out loud is a very humbling experience. A lot of this stems from not knowing what to do.
So where should we turn? God’s word and we'll be doing just that over the next few days in regards to this very topic. 

I have recently seen a few posts on a family worship area. You can look at them here and here.

Wow. That’s all I can say.

I can certainly see a place for an area like this in our home, somewhere to go to the Lord with purpose to pray and study his Word. We’ll be discussing this more and praying about it to see how we can implement it.

Second, we are going to start working on the catechism. No, it’s not Catholic, that’s what I thought it was. We’ve been doing it at church and it helps. Anything that will help our children learn the truth of the Lord and “write it on the tablet of their hearts” is good for us!

Many people put music into their family worship…….maybe one day? My toddler hates music for some reason but he seems to be warming up to the hymns and worship songs I listen to in the mornings during chore time. They are my way of daily praise, I feel connected this way.
Now, our whole family doing it? One step at a time …


Does anyone have any Bible study book suggestions? Thoughts?
Did any of you struggle with praying out loud when you became believers? Are we just goobers? Okay, don’t answer the last one.

Anyway, I will leave you with the song I am listening to currently. I heard it for the first time at our church and wow….. Enjoy : )

Our Living Areas: Then and Now

 I am again participating in the 4 Moms, 35 Kids Link up.  Be sure to hop on over and take a look at everybody's!


Oh, how I love this living room! My decorating philosophy is along the lines of, "Is it on sale".  So I don't even pretend to know what I am doing.  And with 4 LARGE reptile enclosures and a giant rat and bird care decorating can be difficult in the least. (I'll cover the pets, with close-ups in another post, promise!)
So y'all come on in and take a look around, then we'll go over the good, the bad and the ugly (our old living room).

If I did have an inspiration piece it would be this:

I LOVE THIS PAINTING!  It just speaks to me about trusting God and his plans for us, it tells us that to set ourselves apart from the world is not a bad thing.  It was given to me after a woman I worked with at a school took up a collection while I was pregnant with Jacob. 


The floor is something my husband just started putting in.  When we moved here we discovered the previous renters had dogs. A lot of dogs.  And these dogs obviously didn't want to go outside to go potty. Yuck.
The new floor is easy to keep and was pretty easy for my husband to install, however, it doesn't just "snap together" like the ads say....trust me. 

All of our furniture is second hand, it came from various consignment, thrift and overall junk stores.  I made the decision before my oldest reached toddler hood that this is the way to go.  

My dad built the entertainment center and I love the rusitc feel of it.  I chose the fabric, which I love, and behind it are really handy drawers filled with vhs, dvd and video games.   
The corner shelf holds our Bible and whatever we are working on with family worship.  For example right now we are reading "What is Reformed Theology" by R.C. Sproul and the 1689 London Baptist Confessional.  It also keeps my camera and phone in a safe place from sticky hands and a supply of diapers and wipes.  Our wedding, family and baby albums are on the bottom.  The large antique water can holds change.  

Note: we do not have t.v. service.  We only watch movies or play games on this TV, and we like it that way. 

This is Jacob's area.  The table has storage where his puzzles, colors, people box and other such things are. This table is junk more or less and is the only piece of furniture that Jacob can "fix" with his plastic hammer and saw.  Note the marks on the edge there.

That is my piano from when I was Jacob's age!

This is Michael's area and that is my garage-sale-find basket where I keep my books, crosswords, suduko's, lotion etc etc. 

Phew! This is hard work!

I could lie and say the kids book case doesn't always look like this, but for honesty sake I'll tell you that this is it 99% of the time.  Hey, at least he got them back on the shelves right? The basket holds the flashlight (you have to have a good flashlight when living in the country!), incoming mail and what have you. The top of the lit display cabinet showcases my wedding bouquet (it was fake), cake topper, Jason's corsage and pictures etc. 

Our pets (more on the in another post) and a lovely clock Jason found in Midland, where we used to live, when he worked for the landfill.  He used to find the coolest stuff out there.  And yes, I cleaned it. ; ) Behind that curtain are more toys, educational things and cobwebs so we won't be peaking under there right now. 

Okay, so you have something to compare to, this is our old living room:

3/4 of the living room at Christmas, I was like 15 months pregnant. ; )

 

 

Later, Jacob rode his Christmas present through the other 1/4 of our living room.  

Impressive? Thought not. What was really cool was when you got 1/2 way across the floor you could slide to the front door because the floor dipped so badly. It was even more fun in socks. ; )


Hope y'all enjoyed, see you next time and don't forget to visit the other moms!

WFMW: Swiffer Refills the Cheap Way

Ok, I am sure many of you out there in blog land have already thought of this, but I came upon an amazing (at least to me it was) discovery yesterday.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY REFILLS FOR YOUR SWIFFER SWEEPER.

Has anyone noticed how expensive those little over-glorified paper towels are? Yeah, I could make 2 meals for the kind of $$$$ and it takes me 2 or 3 just to get the floor semi- clean after the toddler demolition crew a.k.a. my 3 year old gets done playing.

So after careful inspection of the Swiffer device I came up with the following:

This is a blue shop towel I cut into thirds and attached 1/3 of it to my swiffer.  It is thin enough to push down into those little grabber thingys (hey, you try to think of a better term) and its rough enough to really scrub the floor. 
I then just sprayed it with a multi-purpose all natural cleaner and away I went.  It not only held up better, it cleaned better. 
When I was done I just threw it in the laundry. How easy is that? 
I plan on making some vinegar/water cleaner to use, but right now, this is what works for me.

Do y'all have any other ideas on how to improve it? Have y'all done this before?


I completely forgot to link up last Wednesday's WFMW so here it is.