Friday, January 21, 2011

A Calling

The circumstances behind my grandmother coming to live with us seem unimportant now.  Suffice it to say that her current living arrangements with her son and daughter-in-law (my parents) was not working out. 

I would like to say that it was my grand idea, that I willingly chose to be the good granddaughter and offer her a place to stay.  But it wasn't me.

It was God. 

How do I know that it was God? 

Because I am a sinful creature and therefore far too selfish to willingly sacrifice my time and room in my house for someone, let alone the grandmother who I had never really been able to get along with.  If I had been thinking clearly I would have helped find her a nice little room in a nursing home somewhere where she wouldn't be a bother.  That's what I would have done.  But this was God.

When God calls you to do something--- you do it.  I mean, whose to argue.  So when the idea popped into my head and my husband agreed fervently that this was in fact "the best thing to do", I thought:

"Hey! This will be easy!  Everything will be smooth sailing from here because if was God's plan"

THAT is where I really messed up. 

When things started to unravel from my marvelous plan on how things were going to go I remember crying out to God.  
 "I thought you wanted me to do this!  Why is it so hard?"

And immediately in my heart, a small voice:


Because sometimes God calls us to do messy things.  Don't believe me? Pick a Bible story, any Bible story.  Joseph and his being sold into slavery,  Esther and her calling to be a queen.....Christ.  The Bible is full of sacrifice.  Sacrifice of time, energy, money, family and sometimes their lives; all to fulfill God's glorious plan. 

Who was I to question?

People often compliment me on how nice I am to take care of my grandmother, that I am a wonderful person.  I appreciate it but I know its not true.  I am not wonderful, kind or even patient.....but HE is. And I know this because I, in my fallen nature, would not have willingly chosen this was chosen for me. 

"I can do all things through HIM who strengthens me" 
Phillipians 4:13 NASB

I would love to write more on this that I have been called to do.  I also want to let people know that "YES!" keeping your loved one at home to care for them is possible and, in my opinion, the best option.  But for now, I have breakfast to prepare, toys to find and a pill keeper to fill, in my BLESSED life. 

1 comment:

  1. Hi Melodie,

    Found your blog through your profile on Pyromaniacs. This is a calling indeed! God gives grace to accomplish His will. This is a wonderful testimony and may He richly bless you for your obedience. With my husband's work in doing Estates and Wills, I've heard my fair share of sad, sad stories of children and grandchildren who abandon their parents/grandparents into nursing homes and substandard care but fight over the money they will get. It may not be easy but there is blessing in the sacrifice!