A Calling

The circumstances behind my grandmother coming to live with us seem unimportant now.  Suffice it to say that her current living arrangements with her son and daughter-in-law (my parents) was not working out. 

I would like to say that it was my grand idea, that I willingly chose to be the good granddaughter and offer her a place to stay.  But it wasn't me.

It was God. 

How do I know that it was God? 

Because I am a sinful creature and therefore far too selfish to willingly sacrifice my time and room in my house for someone, let alone the grandmother who I had never really been able to get along with.  If I had been thinking clearly I would have helped find her a nice little room in a nursing home somewhere where she wouldn't be a bother.  That's what I would have done.  But this was God.

When God calls you to do something--- you do it.  I mean, whose to argue.  So when the idea popped into my head and my husband agreed fervently that this was in fact "the best thing to do", I thought:

"Hey! This will be easy!  Everything will be smooth sailing from here because if was God's plan"

THAT is where I really messed up. 

When things started to unravel from my marvelous plan on how things were going to go I remember crying out to God.  

 "I thought you wanted me to do this!  Why is it so hard?"

And immediately in my heart, a small voice:

"I TOLD YOU WHAT TO DO, I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS GOING TO BE EASY"

Because sometimes God calls us to do messy things.  Don't believe me? Pick a Bible story, any Bible story.  Joseph and his being sold into slavery,  Esther and her calling to be a queen.....Christ.  The Bible is full of sacrifice.  Sacrifice of time, energy, money, family and sometimes their lives; all to fulfill God's glorious plan. 

Who was I to question?

People often compliment me on how nice I am to take care of my grandmother, that I am a wonderful person.  I appreciate it but I know its not true.  I am not wonderful, kind or even patient.....but HE is. And I know this because I, in my fallen nature, would not have willingly chosen this path.....it was chosen for me. 

"I can do all things through HIM who strengthens me" 

Phillipians 4:13 NASB

I would love to write more on this that I have been called to do.  I also want to let people know that "YES!" keeping your loved one at home to care for them is possible and, in my opinion, the best option.  But for now, I have breakfast to prepare, toys to find and a pill keeper to fill, in my BLESSED life.